Audio version read by Rev. Steven Lane Taylor, B.Msc.
“Is It Love or Fantasy?”

St. Paul once commented that the greatest thing is love. He was expressing life’s greatest truism, for love is the most wonderful of all of life’s experiences. Indeed, even if a person had total wisdom, the conclusion derived from all that knowledge would be that of all things in life, love is the most important.

This is so, for in love we find the foremost of all Universal Truths—that there is but One Life in this Universe, and all manifestations are bonded or in union with the One Life that is God. Love is the experience of unity, and therefore, Universal Unity is Universal Love. This is why we can draw the conclusion, quite comfortably, that God is Love.

This also tells us why there is such a need to experience love in human beings. It is because love ultimately is a manifestation of the Greatest Truth and Presence in the Universe. With such a natural, innate compulsion to experience love in one’s life, it is no wonder that in man and woman’s often frantic search to find love, errors in judgment are made.

Like the proverbial moth drawn to a flame, men and women—driven for the need to have love in their lives—often make the wrong choices, whether in marriage or in a significant other. Enormous numbers of broken hearts and broken marriages attest to this fact. For this reason, it is critical to know and be able to discern whether a current relationship or a prospective one is love or fantasy.

If one considers the number or percentage of failed relationships and marriages, it can be concluded that the majority of relationships or marriages are not based on love, but rather, on fantasy. Anything that is real is lasting. Anything that is not real cannot stand the test of time and will come to an end. If all of this is true—and of course it is—then whether in a relationship or contemplating one, every human being must honestly answer this question to themselves: “Is it love or is it fantasy?”

The correct answer to this question will allow a person to make the necessary judgments and decisions as to how to respond in a current or prospective relationship, particularly if they are intuitively open to God’s inner guidance.

If you are meditating daily and have truly turned your life over to God, then the correct realization of whether it is love or fantasy will come into your awareness. Remember that real love begins on a spiritual level. God knows which soul is right to join with yours. If it is real love, then it is God that has brought your soul and that of another together.

This may be the first time, but the likelihood is that your soul’s relationship with another soul has existed many times—perhaps throughout eternity. If this is truly the case, you and the other person will sense it; it is positive, universal, soulmate karma at work between the two of you. This does not mean there will never be problems between the two of you, for problems are challenges that are meant to stimulate further spiritual growth and the love you have for each other.

To correctly discern whether you are experiencing real love, as opposed to fantasy, consider this: Fantasy is based on need. Real love is not.

The needs of fantasy include, but are not limited to, sexual desire, financial security, emotional security, acceptance, position in life, power, or fame. In other words, fantasy is based on what you can get from the other person.

Real love, on the other hand, is based on what you can give the other person, because you love them so deeply you feel it in the very depths of your soul. Fantasy is based on fleeting superficialities, while real love is founded by God on lasting reality.

The more you meditate, and the more you turn your life over to God, the more sensitive and aware you will be spiritually. The more spiritually sensitive and aware you are, the more you can sense what is in another person’s soul.

If you find beauty and light there instead of darkness, and have an appreciation for what you have found, then the chances that you have found real love are enormously improved. If you are in love with the inner beauty you have found in the other person, and they are in love with the inner beauty they have found in you, the likelihood is that it is real love and not fantasy. If this is a shared beauty, this is the basis for a lasting love—a love that will last beyond physical life and through all eternity.

Of course, the most wonderful sharing you can have with another person is the sharing of God. As described earlier, God is the very essence of Love. Real love is being able to share that Divine Love by first opening your heart to God, and then opening it to another person’s heart, which is occupied by God.

Finally, to even more clearly define whether it is love or fantasy in your mind, ask yourself this: “Who is my best friend?” If you can unequivocally answer that the other person is your best friend—and the best friend you’ve ever had—the chances are very favorable that you are experiencing real love rather than fantasy.

Being best friends means you are on the same mental and spiritual wavelength, where you are so in tune with each other you can almost finish each other’s sentences or thoughts. With your best friend there is a trusting freedom to think and be yourself. And things you would say to no one else, you would say to them.

That kind of trust is a spiritual trust. It is a sacred trust between two hearts, both containing God’s Presence. And that kind of trust is a true sign of real love.

Dr. Paul Leon Masters

Reference:

For information about “The Theocentric Way of Life” teachings, and Theocentric Psychology ® Doctoral Degree Program, click here.
Theocentric Psychology ® is a registered trademark.